// DEAREST WOMEN//

johnothetree:

Here’s a few things you need to know about men. (NOTE: douchebags = boys, not men.)

  1. if you ever use the winkyface in conversation (that is, any emoticon with a semi-colon in it), a man will always assume that you’re trying to be naughty and/or come on to him
  2. there are many times when a man will speak without thinking first. if you don’t like what we said, tell us or nothing will change.
  3. we might look at other girls if we’re in a relationship, but never touch. we would rather put you through the pain of a breakup than the pain of being cheated on.
  4. video games are not something you do in your freetime, they are a way of life. come between those, and you face the wrath of the gaming gods.
  5. if you can make tasty noms, we want them. all the time. we’re not trying to be sexist, we just know that you can make it better than we can.

(via talldarkandmoe)